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{Points of Two Week #9: a sign from above}

2010-03-12T18:11:17Z

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week was Roben-Marie and I focused on an instance when we felt God gave us a sign that we were on the right path or when he guided us in the right direction.

It was hard to think of a time, because the Divine can be incredably subtle and nudge you without you even knowing. Those little moments of serendipity, a chance meeting, a missed connection -- these are all helpful nudges from above.

I focused on the idea of a chaotic life needing direction and the myriad of possibilities we're presented with at every moment as I composed this page. I was really thinking and putting my confusion and awe onto the page. There are little things only I know the meaning of, and more apparent hints -- just like these signs!

Finally, I chose the time when I decided to follow my heart and not the money. I stumbled upon a Paper Source near my office, and often went in. Then, when I started to become disenchanted by my job as a property manager (read: landlord's assistant, the one doing all the dirty work), I received comments from the staff about how I'd be a good fit, how they'd love to work with me. The next week, there was a sign saying they were hiring. Next visit, I met the store manager and she gave me an application. On the day I was to start, I walked up to my boss (a VP!) and told her I was leaving. She'd treated me horribly the day before, and that really pushed me to leave.

If I hadn't done that, I would have never discovered art journaling as it is. I would have never learned how to do the covers on a journal you make yourself. This was a clear sign that I was meant for other things, and the one that remains a top change in my life.

Make sure to check out Roben-Marie's blog for her story!

found papers, scrapbooking pages, scrap shapes (mine!) watercolor crayons, dip pen & ink

Roben-Marie's page:

{vlog thursday? the re-scheduled weekly vlog! watercolor crayons! yipee!}

2010-03-11T23:10:12Z

This week's live vlog! Hello to the new faces! Please let me know what you'd like me to show you next week, or as some questions to get answered. Love ya all! Off to class!

PS. Will spend tomorrow replying to everyone's comments from the last two entries VIA EMAIL. I really want to write a note to everyone who came by!

{missing artist returns!}

2010-03-10T03:11:31Z

As you can see, we're switching things up this week. I'll have the live vlog at 4pm on THURSDAY and show some journal pages today.

I've had a doozey of a week. I feel like I need a break from everything even though I haven't been around! For awhile there, looking at the computer screen made my stomach flip flop -- I'm on my laptop now on the couch, using the trackpad and taps since the mouse is broken, and my leg's keeping the one side with the broken hinge from falling over. Such is life. It's kinda hard to use a USB mouse when you're laying on a couch!

Last week, I fell into a terrible flair up, one I kinda saw coming. Note the date on this journal page.

It's quickly become one of my favorite pages, and all I used was paper, scissors, double-sided tape, and watercolor crayons. Crowded, yes, but it gave me an hour and a half of constant distraction, what with all the cutting and taping and random bits of color.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling well, but bounced back. Got back into it. Enjoyed my birthday. Went out with a friend.

But things were more and more painful at the end of the day. I would start a page, and finish it days later. But I need to get things done, get the etsy shop up, pay bills, teach classes. And I like pushing myself, I guess, because I just don't listen.

Wednesday, I decided to FINALLY listen to myself. Took a bath in epsom salts, a candle burning next to me as I tried to fit into my bathtub. Goes to show how long it's been since I've taken one, because, well, I don't fit in a standard American bathtub anymore. Really. When I'd get all myself in, the water level would get up to that little overflow-prevention thingy and start leaking out. Oh, all that warm water going down the drain!

Soaked with a copy of Somerset Studio next to me, put up my hair, and relaxed.

I noticed about four that afternoon that things weren't right. If I looked down, my stomach jumped. I couldn't turn my head. The pain was leaking down my neck to my upper back. By seven, I was sobbing.

And....I emerged on Saturday. I know I watched a lot of DVDs and took my more severe meds, and chatted with people, even made a journal page, but....I have holes. I know the pain was horrible, worse than it has been in awhile. Hell, ever.

last week's Points of Two, done during that hazy time.

I know I felt bad, and kept wanting to go work on stuff, my regular posts, answering emails. And my parents steered me away.

The end, basically, is that I can't work at a desk anymore, hence the broken laptop on the couch. I'm re-evaluating how I can work and make digital media and do web stuff. I'm more angry that I live in a body that restricts me in this way, that I started to actually achieve my dreams and got smacked down. I'm pissed at myself. It's something most can't relate with, and that's what this blog post is -- my venting to a friend. Except it's to a mass of anonymous people online.

So here's my latest page, which I adore, because it's all my favorite colors and shades and pieces and doodles and I FINALLY got the color laser printer to work over the network, and have been playing with Vintage Printable's considerable collection of images. Seriously, have you been there yet? Because there's a ton of eye-candy for use in your journal!

MIA

2010-03-07T17:38:44Z

Sorry, sorry!

On Wednesday, I got a horrible pain in my neck that had me sobbing. Ever since then, I've been on some pretty heavy-duty stuff (I know I watched some of my Fringe DVDs, but don't really remember....). Yesterday was my first day out, and a run to the library and store had me really, really weak.

I'm feeling better today, but am limiting my computer time since we feel this set up I have with the desktop is part of what happened. Unfortunatly, my laptop is so old, it doesn't really work as a laptop anymore, and the netbook's too small for most of what I do. I'm waiting on my brother converting a nice Gateway to a Hackintosh, and then transfering data....hopefully, I'll be back for reals tomorrow.

Before all this happened, I finished 2 paintings, and am just finishing a third. And have journal pages! Well, one's kinda weird because it was while I was on the drugs, but hey -- that's a journal page in itself!

:D kira

{vlog tuesday: finding your style, inspiration, and a three quarters sketch}

2010-03-02T23:10:44Z

Next week, we'll be exploring watercolor crayons and all the awesome things you can do with them!

Want to see something? Leave a comment!

{Points of Two Week #7: What makes you a good friend?}

2010-02-26T17:20:21Z

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week, we focused inward, exploring what qualities make us good friends to others.

I surprised myself with this one. I first took to a notebook and began writing about what I thought made me a good friend. There were specific events and generalizations, and some was even petty (as in, I did this for you, and you did this to me?!). I wrote two pages before I got to the main point: that if I'm your friend, I will be honest, supportive, and there for you.

This topic's been on my mind lately because of a very particular thing my friend Jun does (she's the blond in the photo in my blog's header). She has many little bits about her that I love, but she feels she needs to apologize for them all the time. I keep telling her it's okay, that I've accepted her as she is, all the bits included, and that she never has to apologize for anything. Anyway, that came out in the end of my two written pages, and I think it's helped me to understand not only my friendship with Jun, but with my other friends. The power of journaling, right?

I used my fluid acrylics, paper bits, and glue. Pretty basic, right? Most of the papers are either found or from this line of scrapbooking papers I've fallen in love with...what is the name!? Got it! Nook & Pantry by Basic Grey. Great, beautiful papers!

When finishing my page, I ran out of room! So I stapled in the rest for a nice folding paper. I love adding bits like that, and really should do it more often!

And here's Roben-Marie's page for this week!

I got a question via my Formspring.me page asking if they could use our Points of Two as journal prompts. YES YES! That is half the reason we share our prompt along with our pages. To show you how two people may start with the same idea, but create vastly different pages. Please feel free! The archives list all the prompts we've done thus far.

{Journal Thursday: new is defiantly in here in the studio}

2010-02-26T02:02:47Z

Sometime last week, when I was sitting at my table, something amazing happened:

My style took a large change.

Which was surprising and pleasing to me, as I'd gotten a bit bored and needed something new to pop up. I don't exactly know WHAT changed, rather, I can tell you small bits, the changes in technique I've noticed, but as to what exactly, well, I have no idea. Or why. Those are two of those W words that I can't answer.

And, honestly, don't want to answer. That'd be delving too far into something I'd rather remain intuitive and mysterious. Like if I do get the answers to those questions, it'd ruin the fun. Yes, I'd like to know, but I want to discover them by continuing on down the vein and seeing what pops up.

{vlog tuesday: acrylics, markers, and badly-behaving chat modules!}

2010-02-23T23:14:56Z

This week, I worked on a random loose canvas piece and answered questions. We talked a whole lot about acrylics -- cheap vs. expensive, liquid vs. regular -- and Copic markers and watercolor crayons. Is there something you'd like to learn about? A technique or product you would like to see me demonstrate? Leave me a note in the comments and I'll try my best to make it happen.

Also, no blog post tomorrow, as I'm spending my birthday with friends & family. See you on Friday!

{Points of Two week #6: to-do lists! & WISH workshop preview video}

2010-02-20T01:49:33Z

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week's assignment: since Roben-Marie and I are so busy and like lists, we incorporated our To-Do lists into our journal page. Which we did fast. And then crossed it off and moved on! It's a busy time for both of us!

I've been having fun with a new evolution of my style, more paint and collage. I'm going from complete mess to structured mess. I swear, it's the scrapbookers. They're slowly moving me to their side!

I have one of those Moleskine planners with a page for every day, and on Saturdays, I write in everything I need to get accomplished the next week. The key to me actually getting a lot done is micro-movements; each task is split into bite-sized pieces that I can do without getting overstimulated or tired. Thanks, SARK!

So I put a copy of my to-do list in the center and collaged around it. And colored in my doodles. And admitted I like crossing things off. Look, I'm crossing off posting this blog entry off today's list. See? Smooth line right there. Ahhh...makes me feel so productive!

I used liquid acrylics, found papers, stencils, and watercolor crayons. Oh, and a big Sharpie, cause it's fun!

Here's Roben-Marie's page. Head to her blog to get the story behind it.

I've also read your comments for yesterday's post -- I didn't get them emailed to me for some reason, and had no idea so many people had commented! I'll reply asap. But I thank you for them!

So, as requested, a preview video for the WISH Journal Workshop.

I'm off! Have a wonderful weekend!

{detour: homegirl is FREAKING OUT}

2010-02-18T16:16:17Z

The other day, I pass my mother on the way to the kitchen for another diet Coke (to help me complete my massive collection of empty cans around the computer; they have a cute stick man trying to hold up a HUGE heart, and it’s kinda cute in the warnings on stepladders and large boxes kind of way) and say:

Kira: Mooooooom. Only five people have signed up for my online class.*

Mom: Well, I guess that’s why they call them starving artists.

Kira: You’re so mean.

*This was a few days ago. The number is now 8.

I relate this story to you only because I have now made TWO uber-awesome journals through my workshop and wish you would, too.

But this has really been getting to me. I guess it’s a New Teacher thing. Tonight, I teach my first class at Hannah’s (the shop I’ve been working with for a month or so, now), and we were all excited about the classes I’d be brining up there, except NO ONE signed up for the Saturday class and tonight, last I heard, I had 3 students. Which is cool. I WANT to teach, and so hell yeah I’m going up there and we’re going to have an AWESOME time.

Going from people expressing an interest in classes to seeing the actual number that sign up is kinda like, hrm. See, I was about to go all fangirly on y’all and compare it to comments on a fanfic, but that may not translate well. Suffice to say, the numbers dip drastically, and it makes you (or me, in this case) wonder if you’ve done something wrong.

Like, am I teaching the wrong thing? Are people intimidated?

I totally sat down to write about some new journal pages I’ve done, so I’m really sorry. Gotta get out what comes, ya know? And sitting on the morning of my first class at a shop and just before the beginning of a new workshop I’ve worked on for two weeks (seriously, I threw my back out with all the stuff I was doing around here for the new vids last night), I’ve got this on my mind. What can a teacher do but present what they’re excited about?

In fact, when all of this started at the end of last year, that was the advice I got from Mama-Bear Kelly: teach what YOU’RE excited about, because if you cater to what people tell you to teach, you won’t have fun or be as-good a teacher (I’m paraphrasing, since I don’t want to search through email archives).

And this all is the exact reason I was working while doing art: I didn’t want to get wrapped up in numbers and interest and hits and all that stat-following CRAP out there. Technology is great, but too much can make you want to hide in your room and never come out because then the Terminators will get you. Or something like that.

But then I got wrapped up in WORKING and stopped doing art and making journals and posting on the blog, etc, etc. I journaled maybe once a week, never really wrote anything, and stopped making my ‘zine (which I want to start again, though Art Journaling magazine kinda stole my thunder!). So now I’m here to focus on art and the stats and numbers come back and my bank account cries to me every night over the phone about how I never give her nice things and why can’t I be like Johnny and put money in her every week or two?

True, my situation was kinda thrust upon me, and as my friend put it, I’m stuck between a rock and a bigger fuckin’ rock, and I can’t move so I’m trying to make the best of it. But being home has me checking my email more often and twitter and I get bored and start THINKING. And once I start doing that, everything’s lost -- I’ll overanalyze everything, then get pissed and tell everyone to get away because I’m mad and they’re mean or whatever. It’s not pretty. Which is why I try NOT to think.

I guess the moral of the story is I’m going to get supplies and make tonight’s class the best class in the world, and everyone else is gonna be sorry they missed it because it’ll be the best in the universe. And I’ll make a preview vid of the WISH workshop and put it out there and then sit back and let it happen.

See? I tend to over-think things. I’m worried that I’m teaching the wrong things, that I’m unoriginal, that I don’t have anything new or worthy to offer and let me tell you, looking at your work and trying to think up classes and workshops is VERY HARD. Really is. So I got excited.

This is probably all nerves about tonight coming out. And next week. I definitely don’t want the build-up to be better than the result, so I’m freaking that people will be like, “This is it?” when WISH goes up on Monday, or that after tonight’s class, they’ll cancel all the others I’m lined-up to teach and GAHHHH. I AM STOPPING RIGHT NOW.

I’m just FREAKING OUT because I’m no old-hand at teaching and am afraid of FAILURE. In the end, aren’t we all?

EDIT: I think, when I'm 30 or 40, I'll look back at this and be like, "Why the HELL was I all worried? I WISH my classes were smaller! And that things were that easy!" (because my future self is going to be AWESOME and self-assured and horribly famous. this is why dreams are so important, and that you visualize things). So I'm going to revel in what I have. And give my whole heart. I'm tempted to just delete this whole thing, but want a record of my journey.